Millennial Characteristics to avoid

Millennial characteristics to avoid - Too Late EP37

Where did our millennial characteristics come from and what’s the best way to survive an actual conversation with the millennial generation in the real world? What’s a millennial anyway?

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Too Late with Chris Devon is a comedy podcast with funny stories and sketches about adult life. Because, look, it’s too late to do a damn thing about it. You can watch or listen to the show on YouTube and Spotify.

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Got me shit together. And I. Well, I mean, obviously, like, on the surface, it looks like I’ve got my shit together. I mean, essentially what’s really happened, you know, I’ve had some new artwork made, and I’ve got some more bulbs on in the room. That’s basically it. Still, the perpetual breakdown of a man rapidly approaching 40, shall I say, rapidly approaching 40.

When do young adults stop being young?

Am I allowed to say that yet? I turn 36 in a few weeks. Should I should I just sort of dial it back a bit and do the 30 thing or do the approaching 40 thing? At what point do you feel 40 how much we need to trickle down your leg before you can start saying the word 40 at all in any context?

I don’t know. Let me know. I say we’ve started exactly as we mean to go on. Let me say, if you’re new to the show, this is it. This is literally it. Hello, I’m Chris. I’m an actor. Comedian, content creator, you know, And I’m the kind of guy who won’t approach the guy in the cafe who has incredible trousers to ask him about his trousers because of stupid male masculine awkwardness that’s been baked into me since Catholic school. But never mind.

So as a bit of a turning point for the podcast, although not really, because it’s not going to change that much, it’s just kind of become kind of clear to me. In the last however many episodes we’ve done, the things that I’m interested in and passionate about talking about, and it’s taking the piss out of adult life because it completely sucks.

If you saw the fancy trailer that I put on YouTube this week and it’s kind of that’s it, you know what I mean? Like, I don’t life sucks in it and it’s nice just to sort of hide in my little box here and take the piss out of it with you. So I thought we should get into it a bit more in a bit more detail this week.

What the hell is a millennial? I mean, I know, I understand. That’s what I am. And I’ve looked at the whole young age and demographic window and where it all fits in in the criteria. And I am bang in the middle like I am as millennial as it gets. Apparently. In fact, every day I don’t have a avocado in my hand.

I’m taxed a pound. I’m a millennial generation, supposed to be wearing new balance shoes and still clicking my fingers to Linkin Park. And actually I do do that last bit. But anyway, I am a millennial and if the analytics are anything to go by, many of you are too. So we need to deal with it because we got some issues we millennials basically.

So a late twenties to fall ish at this point, I think early for am I right about that? You know, basically a born in the eighties, raised in the nineties and then the the new millennium and it was like, what the hell do we do? Everything we were taught was wrong. And that’s basically it is, isn’t it? And, you know, we’re at that point in our life where, you know, adult life is really kicking in because you can kind of bloggy way through work life balance your twenties, can’t you?

Millennials vs Baby boomers

But I’m half way through my thirties now and it’s like, nah, nah, this is this is, this is it now this is it. Yeah, this is this is the era of getting shit done, getting shit done. And as I said earlier generations, in the trailer, you know, we are expected at this age during this generational time to do all those big, responsible adult things, settle down, get married, get hitched, have some little babies, maybe a dog, and then get a a mortgage, own your own property and own your own destiny.

Yeah. Then there’s all those those entrepreneurial ones that are like, you know, Will they be your own boss? Yeah. Freelance. Yeah. Swan around coffee shops, telling everyone you’re a freelancer. We did a thing about it recently anyway. And be your own boss and be in charge of your own destiny. Start a fizzy Drinks blog, start a candle business on Instagram.

You’re a millennial? Yeah. This millennium is yours. Yeah. It didn’t turn out like that, did it? It is tough, man. It is. It is. Well, you know what? I would do ourselves any favors. This generation x this is the generation that brought you vapes and beard oil. Basically, we said we’re going to do shit all with our life, but we’re going to smell damn good not doing it.

Okay, that sells. All right. Pass me an IPA and leave me the hell alone because I’ve got games to play on my mobile phone at the back of the bar. And that’s and that’s, you know, one symptom. I’m not going to say characteristic of most millennials. I’m going to say one symptom of millennials is this. And it came out of left field and it’s very unexpected when you think about it.

We’re terrified. Scared of answering the phone. Why? My phone rings and it feels very much like this. Otome a good okay, believe it. A never. But that is treachery. I don’t know anyone in tattoo. Do that with you. Let me say. Just think. Just think. What would Chris Martin do? Oh, heart of God. If it’s important, they’ll email me.

Yeah, yeah, email him. I Lovely email. I’ll Google the number. Kettering. I don’t know anyone in Kettering either. If you can get. So I kind of feel like we should be the most social generation because we’ve never been more connected. But we are terrified of other generations of people. Like I said at the start, the show there is genuinely a guy who works at the cafe in town with friends, nominal trousers, and I’m scared to approach him and say like, Where’d you get your trousers, mate?

But is that just a Chris Devon? Is a Chris thing? Because I know understand that my personality is quite sort of abrasive. You love me or you hate me. I mean, if Instagram’s anything to go by us, that’s us. Damned if you love me or you hate me. Arts Minister Chris Devon on social media. By the way, check out those trolls.

My God, when I compliment someone on their trousers, it sounds sarcastic. I don’t mean to be sarcastic. I’m jealous of women who can just walk up to each other in the street and go unlock those shoes. Oh, my God. I am meaning to get paid other for ages. When you get home and straight away their best friend’s like straight away.

They could share each other’s deepest, darkest, nastiest, kinky esque secrets. And it wouldn’t matter that sisterhood is just there. It’s just there. I approach a guy in a cafe about his trousers and he just thinks I’m taking the piss. I Come on, I like your trousers, man, but everything that comes out of my mouth sounds sarcastic. Everything makes me sound like a dick.

But I don’t mean to be their lovely trousers. They look really comfortable. I think he’s a chef. I chefs have the best time because they just wear pajamas all day. It’s burnt in a job. Looks easy. Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t bite. You’re better than that. You’re better than that. All right, Come on. I’ve got nothing but respect for chefs.

You know that. You. I’ve got sesame oil. I’ve got respect for chefs. Hundred percent, hundred percent. I chili flakes on my breakfast. Come on, man. Speaking of the cafe, it’s like the millennial pilgrimage, isn’t it? Go into the coffee shop. Like what? Why did we as millennials decide to make coffee our entire personality? Because it’s not just coffee shops that, like, sprouted up in the 2000s and are now basically the high street.

But it’s everything surrounding coffee, coffee culture. It’s the cops, it’s the t shirts, it’s the tote bags. It’s people walking around with with coffee slogans. And there’s coffee machines on every single commercial radio Facebook page, every single Monday morning coffee. There’s coffee that I mean, it’s like I like coffee, but I love tea. Like, I need tea in my life.

I’m a tea belly. Right. But you don’t get all of that stuff with with with tea, with coffee. You know, you’ve got you’ve got, you know, the the current and Sharon’s the Ryans and Brian’s in the office on Monday morning. They don’t talk to me until I’ve got my coffee. Okay. Yeah. Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee as well.

Just don’t do it just to go. Lisa? Lisa? Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, just don’t. I said don’t talk to me until I have my coffee. I know. Late, late, late, late night. And don’t talk to me until I have my coffee. Am I right?

Uh oh. Tony. Tony. Joe is on the phone. Is on the phone. I’ll light a light. Light, light. Wait a minute. Wait. He’s on the phone. Is. That sounds important. Oh, he sounds upset. Is he okay? Oh, is it. Is it his wife? Oh, the operation was yesterday, wasn’t it? Oh, God is. I won’t say anything. Oh, he’s off.

He’s off the phone. Tony! Tony! Tony, don’t talk to me until I have, like, coffee. Yeah, Yeah. Oh, I’ll talk to him later. Banter, you know, get that would say there is no nonsense he doesn’t piss about you. See what he is? T is the signature drink of knowing when you’ve got shit to get through and getting through it.

You understand? You’ve got a big ass spreadsheet in front of you that needs filling in with all your writedowns and KPIs. He got a cockpit seat. That job gets done. May Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You lose a loved one. The first thing you do is make a cup of tea. Same thing. You reach for the kettle. It’s just this comforting, warm blanket that’s just there, man.

It’s there. You know, You go, you pretentious coffee merchandise, right? What would pretentious tea merchandise look like if you had tea slogans written all over your t shirts? Urban Outfitters. What would the t shirts say? You know, you can have slogans like Milk to sugars and coffee because he’s not coming back. Get over it. Go on, Donkey Biscuit.

It’s the only thing you’re getting work today. One lump or two doesn’t matter. Get it checked. You can never be too careful. That’s what tea culture would look like on a T-shirt. Get out, mate. There’s money. There’s money. It’s speaking the slogans, a poster, the sketch earlier in the week about millennials decorating their kitchens, millennial wall art. You know, you got to be an m, you get four, eight, nine in a big ass canvas that says, you know, live life, love or whatever.

Well, I’ll just I’ll just I’ll just show it to you. Here it is. Live LA love. When life gives you lemons make gin. Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans. And Barrett have to look through the rain to see the rainbow Ginger gin. Just give me gin Dance like nobody’s watching. Is this yesterday’s history? Tomorrow is a there’s a guy on YouTube who couldn’t be asked to pick a username.

It’s just a row of digits. My nana has a sign in our kitchen saying all you need is love a dog engine. And that’s just so true, isn’t it? It’s a typical of the kind of slogans you get for, like, you know, for Nine-Nine in the back of the works, you know what I mean? Stick it on the wall.

Go on, Love Dog. And Jen is a very odd combination. Enjoy those things. I have all three of those things in my house, but never at the same time. Good Gut moonbat says This is just underrated. This, this, this, this sketch should blow up. Thank you Thank you very much for that. Boston tailor said this was so fucking good.

Don’t forget it’s 10 p.m. somewhere. That’s good. Yeah, I think it’s usually 5:00 somewhere, isn’t it? Usually, he says, Oh, it’s 5:00 somewhere. Like is it like clock off? You know, go and have a drink or whatever. It’s not working. But yeah, 10 p.m. somewhere that still works was I even mean, you know, I mean, like this millennial wall art was just sort of like an entry drug, a gateway drug for me seems, wasn’t it?

And they get very, very bland, very, very fast. So to put it up on your wall is kind of a brave thing. You go down to Chloe’s house and she’s got live love, love on the wall. It’s like she really wants me to live, laugh and love. Like she means it. She means it. Um, you know that. Or it’s just covering up some dump.

So, speaking of means, what do we do? We don’t just express ourselves with the coffee. We drink the lemon drizzle cakes that we pay 599 for, and the arts that we put up on our walls from being them. Live. Love, love. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We do embrace the digital world because we kind of grew up with it. We grew up without it for a few years, but then broadband hit round about the same time we were in high school, so we just didn’t stand a chance.

I mean, our brains were already rotting before we entered the world of work, right? Because we were young adults who were at that point about ready to start staring at our phones for the rest of our life, which is how you probably found me on this podcast. So thanks for subscribing slash Chris Devon, a millennial, joins Tik Tok and every single time it looks like this.

Hi guys. I know finally joins Tik Tok. Oh god, am I right? LOL Oh my god, you cannot emoticons but scholesy. Yes. Anyway, nice to meet you all. So I’m Chris. I’m 35 and I’m on Tik tok because I just got bored of Skype, you know? So I thought I’d get down with the kids. Sorry, baby, get off your phone.

I’m using the internet. Sorry about that ruffle Btob. I’ve got something planned using an ice bucket that I think you’re going to want to see. Okay. So stay tuned for that one. All right. G to g h have you? Yeah. GROSS Girl says the forced acronyms so true. I k r I mean, WCF, a WCF. All right, Buns music.

The good thing about Tik Tok is I have discovered loads of new skills and loads of bands that I would never otherwise have heard of. The other thing that I quite like is every now and again a band pops up from my childhood, from when I was growing up, being a teenager, an angsty teenager, listening to heavy metal and all that.

And every now and again a band pops up that I’ve not heard of or heard from sorry for years and years and years, like 20 years or 15 years or something. And they’ve been popping up recently and I’ve gone down a bit of a rabbit hole of just looking up all of the bands that I loved growing up and just checking to see if they’re okay.

I haven’t heard any of that new stuff. I’m not interested. I just want older generations to know that they’re okay because there is nothing that ages you. Foster makes you understand and be so aware of your own mortality more than Googling bands you went to see at the Curling Academy in Birmingham in 2004. Google those bands now and just see how they get on and then you’ll realize, Oh shit, I’m old now.

A lot of them have aged beautifully, still playing gig in touring to this day. Others, bless them, not so much, but nothing will age you faster than watching the aging process take place in your favorite bands and artists. I highly don’t recommend it, actually. Don’t do it. I’ve just told myself out of it. It’s really depressing. I said at the start of the first generation of the podcast, How do you survive a conversation with a millennial?

How do you get through it? Because we kind of originate it’s a lot of really annoying habits and made them popular. And I blame Ricky Gervais in the office for this as well. But in the workplace, because I did a lot of office jobs, traditional office jobs make up, I’ve still got a day job, but it’s it’s in this room.

I mean, a padded cell 8 to 10 hours a day. It’s not it’s not the same as office culture used to be, is it? But, you know, office culture used to be where like, you would get a guy talking like this at you. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. What did you call this? A Friday? Now I call it fry.

You make I’m going out of Ghana. Do you like him? Do you like him? Me? No, I’m not going out. No Cards Against Humanity tournament going to be goals a F now it’s just me. Yes, just me. Booked my halibut. Amsterdam for the gram. Yes. Again. Sorry. Not sorry for me. It’s garlic bread. Garlic bread and lemon. And heard said no one ever.

Oh it’s hump day and you on hump day. Yeah. She got it. That’s what she said. What time you call this mate. What time you call this. 5:00. Nine hour call it be recalled. My name. Well, you’re okay. Hey, Hey. You busy? Oh, okay. Alright. No worries. Oh, it’s like that, innit? Oh, well, listen, I’m a hard working guy, okay?

But what I don’t understand, never understood is this millennial obsession with being overly ambitious all of the time and feeling like you have got to give 110%. 110%. Do you and millennial women actually know what 110% really looks like? It doesn’t work. Let’s go back to coffee. You gave 110%. You burn your fingers. Oh, yeah. You’re having a shave in the morning, You give it 110%, you’re going to lose your eyebrows on you.

You’re eating dinner at the table. You give 110%, you finish it in a year off. I threw the sunflowers in the vase. Will you do it? You making sweet love even 10%. You just there for an extra 3 minutes. Just slap in that. No one wants that. Don’t give 110% give like a good. So 70 to 90 each day.

Yeah. Take each day as it comes. All right. Because let me tell you, the only time a man approaching 40 gives 110% is when that extra 10% dribbles down his leg when he thought he was finished. That’s the only time you’re going to get 110% on me. You remember me on Messenger, right? I mean, we talked about, you know, broadband kind of kicking off this whole millennial mental catastrophe, this this this mental health downfall that many millennials are in right in the midst of right now.

I think I missed a messenger is kind of the catalyst for the first generation y the whole thing, because that was when we started completely changing the whole dynamic of friendships and meeting people and talking to people and engaging with people. We did it all through memes Buster then, which has changed formats and been changed and upgraded and replaced with various other things down the road.

But you know, WhatsApp is basically that, isn’t it? What’s changed? We changed the word emoticons to emojis. That’s really all we did. There’s a few nice little nostalgic things though, that when you go back you think sweet, innocent, primitive digital times. We were living in how stupid we were, especially as millennial employees that age as well. Now imagine a millennial working from home as I do, working on, you know, projects with remote teams from around the world.

But the way you communicate young people in 2023 is with them as a messenger. It would look like this. Hi. You’re right. Yeah. I’ve sent you seven nudges in the past minute. I haven’t had a response yet. I was just wondering why he’s just not gelling with the team, is he? He’s been here two weeks, and his profile picture is still a picture of a rubber duck there.

Any chance I can have 2 hours off on Friday? It’s an urgent doctor’s appointment. My kid really needs help. Is that okay? He’s just put cake. He’s human, isn’t he? Is that a job? Yeah. Hi. I’d like to know how I can change my profile name to lyrics from my Chemical Romance song. It’s called I’m Not Okay. Why You should know Why.

So it’s been a bit of a deep dive into millennials. We’ve taken the piss out of millennials tend each other. I hope you feel a little bit cathartic about that. Maybe you just feel miserable and depressed and hope that I never put out another podcast again. I almost didn’t, but then I remembered 110%. So we’re going to continue we’re going to talk a bit more about this in the coming weeks and and and look at some specific stuff as well.

So I’m going to be asking some questions on on on the Spotify polls, on the YouTube polls. So just look out for all that stuff and keep in touch. Okay. Now, listen, I’ve got to go because yesterday I wanted to go a bit longer on this podcast, but yesterday I, I, I’m in jokin, right? I turned left to do something that was to the left of me.

My required a left turn. And in that moment I sneezed. And because I sneezed while turning left, my neck is killing me and I can no longer turn left. I’m not. I’m not joking. I’m not joking. It really hurts to do go any further than that. So yeah, it’s it’s it’s I got a bit animated earlier doing these little performances, so, yeah, it really hurts.

So I’ve got to go. I’m not even joking. Well, wait, you had a podcast about millennials and perpetual physical and mental downfall. I sneezed yesterday and that’s why today I’m in pain. So if you are under the average age of of 30 listening to this podcast, let this be a warning. Yeah, this podcast is finishing early because 24 hours ago the host of this podcast sneezed in an awkward position and now his neck is killing him.

And now I’ve got to go. That’s the reality we’re living in. And that’s why this podcast is called Too Late. And that’s why I’m very grateful that we took the piss out of adult life together on this show. We’re going to do it again next week with another one. But until then we’ll have more sketches, more videos and more opportunities to chat and take the piss out of ourselves and adult life.

Over on social media at Mr. Chris Devon, Wherever is Facebook, Instagram, I’m on all of them, right? I ain’t got a life. I just live in it, right? So just just get into it. Yeah. slash Chris Devon for the podcast and all the comedy sketches. Everything’s on there. It’s on Spotify as well, of course, Just the search for two, like with Chris Devon.

Man, just Google me. It’s easy. I’ve made it easy for you. Okay. Until next week, then brush your teeth. I’ll see you.

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